You can grow crystals, pure crystals off world because there's no gravity. You can also get alloys you can't get on this world, offworld, because of no gravity. Things mix differently. Some of the intricate belt and sock pattern weaving would be easier offworld because of: lack of gravity.
Plus you could glue things together more easily. Why? Because there's no gravity. Just stick a little bit of adhesive to something. Attach something else to it, and let it hang there in space. There's no tension.
The other good thing about offworld is you have endless supplies out there. Asteroid belts and things like that. Machines would work differently, because once again there's no gravity. So all you'd be working with is tension and friction. Course with the machine, you'd have to have a platform to attach things to.
Another thing you have to worry about though, is whatever you're manufacturing, you have to give preference to lighter weight products because you have to overcome the gravity well to import them to Earth. It's easy to get down to Earth but it's hard to stop. So that's why they do a lot of socks, and belts, because they're lightweight.
One manufacturing concern is employees. Because there's bone density loss the longer you stay in space. I think the bones lose calcium, I'm not sure. And muscles, of course, atrophy. So you'd either have to employ aliens who've adapted to space, or bioforms genetically engineered to work in space, or humans who you would not let come back to Earth, because once they've been in space long enough they could not go back to Earth. Their bones would snap. Their muscles would fail.
So quite possibly that's where all these children are disappearing to. Everybody thinks it's sex rings, but they're probably kidnapping all these kids, taking them into space, surgically and genetically modifying them, and then training them to run the machinery. And of course the failures are still used for sexual purposes.
You'd live longer in space, because again, no gravity. No gravity pulling down your cells. So there's less cellular stress. And certain sediment deposits inside your body would not occur, because gravity wouldn't force them to pool in low-lying areas. The heart would beat longer, because it wouldn't have to pump all the blood UP and around, just AROUND. And sleep would be more restful, because there would be no mattress pushing against you or stress of gravity impacting you. All this keeps coming back to gravity.
So the gravity of the situation in space is less grave.
You wouldn't have to use hair gels, just comb your hair the way you want, wet. Let it dry. It would tend to stay there.
And technically, by an undiscernible factor, you would age more slowly compared to Earth. Because the faster you go, the slower you age. Even though it would be an undiscernible difference at that height.
Also there'd be psychological problems, because not everybody could adapt to limited space and terrain. And since size does matter, they prefer to take younger children so they can stunt their growth, because there's space limitations in space. In fact, all these stunted workers in the workshop is probably where the myth of Santa's Elves came from, because we've been manufacturing offworld for millenia.
The original products they made were conceptual. A lot of myth making, Gods, fables, legends. Because originally they were observing their new workers when they started off, and they found out what worked to keep these people in line. They then codified these discovered precepts into worldwide religions and political philosophies. Another product they introduced from space were butterflies and jellyfish and marzipan. Whipped cream also comes from space. And aerosol sprays. And they first discovered microwaves in space when they didn't shield against the radiation and they accidently cooked a couple kids. In fact, most people don't realize the flying saucer crash at Roswell was actually a delivery ship from offworld factories. That's how Earth technology got transistors and laser theory, which offworld was trying to keep for themselves.
The theory of the laser came up way before they could actually do it. But when they finally got the technology to do it, it turned out to be right. And they got the theory from offworld. There've been multiple offworld delivery crashes. That's how most technological advances have seeped into the Earth culture.
It's also important to realize there're two factions of offworld factories. The good guys and the bad guys. The bad guys try to keep the arm sales going and the Rolex watches selling. The good guys keep trying to slip in messages of hope. One of the better good guy's psychological campaigns to make humans better was the Bugs bunny cartoons. They were trying to counter the bad guy's Old Testicle. The snake in the Garden of Eden was another attempt to slip a better way into humanity. They were trying to get the Knowledge of Good And Evil to us, whereas the bad guys just merchandised evil and more Rolex watches.
Only the inner components of Rolex are made off world. A lot of the merchandise is actually too heavy to ship down. They just manufacture the crucial lightweight core. For example, computers are made on Earth, but the chips and the programming come from offworld. A lot of really good fiction and poetry is produced offworld, but printed on Earth.
Actually, the aliens are in it for the energy. They're rather like psychic vampires. Every time you do something bad, or get angry, you release a dark energy that upsets the Earth's aura. The child stealing aliens harvest this energy, and they condense it, and they lie around at night and get high on it. Every tear and fear and shameful failure of humans gets these evil aliens high. Every good deed and thought and action produces a ray of light energy that actually reinforces the good aliens and damages the evil aliens. Cuz light always vanquishes darkness.
But darkness can kill light. That's where that myth comes from. For every child who stops believing in fairies, a fairy dies. Fortunately, a very little light can negate a vast sea of darkness. And it takes a humungous amount of nothing to quench the light of very little something. Most fairy tales, good and bad, are produced offworld. And actually, most fairy tales are produced by the bad guys. I mean, most fairy tales are consistent: cheating, lying, stealing, misrepresenting. Outright trickery. Which is actually pretty good education for kids, for life.
The aliens are energy beings. And they can assume any shape required. They're like psychic chameleons. If you saw an alien on Earth in its natural form, it looks like one of those heat mirages hovering over the road. Like you're looking at reality through flawed glass. Sometimes you get enough of them together, they can look like fog. The good guys always appear as bright sunshine, or moonlight, or starlight, or the reflections on water. The original legends of fairies came from good guy sightings. And "guy" in this sense comes from "guide," not male or female. Like "guyline."
TV programs are the main mass medium for making sheep outta people. To deaden their brains, lower their sights, lessen their good. TV makes you want things that aren't important. Want things that are bad for you and the planet. That's the other thing, in addition to being psychic vampires who suck on the pain of bioforms, the evil aliens also use us to kill the planet. Killing the planet would release the largest psychic scream from Mother Earth. Getting high off human misery is like a drink of alcohol but the high of killing Mother Earth would be like a sustained mainline speed rush. Eternal psychic cocaine.
Oh yes, they move through the Universe, killing planets. They come to a young planet. They seed it with early life. Because it takes a long, long time to get consciousness going. And pain without consciousness is just a minor high. So they'll slowly build up life systems, like the dinosaurs. Then they'll wipe most of them out all at once, to get high. Then build up the next life system, then wipe *it* out to get high, all the while, developing consciousness in these ever more complex biosystems. Until finally, they get *man* and *woman* to do their work for them, killing and hurting each other. Killing and hurting each animal, each bird, each fish, each plant, each rock and stone and river. And they just harvest all this pain. Eventually they'll kill the planet, or the light spirits will lead enough people to the right path, in which case the evil ones will flee to the next planet, and start over. It's an eternal endless battle between light and darkness.
Earth can wipe man. Man can not wipe Earth. The only way to stop Earth would be literally to blow it to pieces. Actually, to turn it to rubble. You could set off every atomic bomb in the world. Wipe out man, poison the atmosphere. A million years from now though, things would still be growing. So even if the evil aliens get man to destroy life on Earth, after they harvest that high, evil moves on. It can't afford to wait that long to re-seed the Earth and wait for consciousness again
If every woman would wear refrigerating underwear to cool down their little vaginas, it would help global warming. All these little hot vulvas are just radiating heat into outer space. Plus, probably a whole lot of pheromones, too. There're probably aliens out there just sniffing around, trying to find out where this is coming from.
Plus if all these women cooled down their little hot boxes, there'd be less heated men trying to procreate. So there'd be fewer babies born. Fewer babies means fewer dead beefs to feed them. Fewer dead beefs means fewer Amazon forests cut down. So you can see, warm vulvas are a major cause of global warming. 'Course, that still leaves the hot air produced by politicians and TV talking heads. They should be locked into a room. Let them eat each other.
I should have a kindergarten, and a grade school, and a high school science course. I'd have a college course, but by that time everybody'd be concentrating too much on the hot vulvas to pay attention.
Of course, hot vulvas do make nice foot warmers on cold winter days. Other things that are going to have to go are hot wheels, a "hot time in the old town tonight", hot jazz, people saying, "You're getting warm," hot prospects, baseball teams getting hot... But mainly, hot sex. I think this is a hot idea. You can call me Mr. Science...
One thing we are going to have to keep though, which cannot be touched, is hot coffee. There are some things which are sacred.
This refrigerating underwear, wouldn't it take fuel? No, it'd be chemical. Like those little sticks you snap and they mix the chemicals and make cool green fluorescent light at concerts. And there're other sticks you snap to make heat for ice fishermen. It's all chemical mixtures. So what I propose is that with the two chemicals we need to make cold, we put one on the panties that are manufactured. And then women can just paint their vaginas after showers with the other chemical. So when they put on the panties, the two chemicals will meet, and voila! We'll have refrigerated vulvas. Kind of like Swedish Vulvas in the winter.
We also have to change our terminology. We can't have "hot" babes anymore. We have to have "cool" babes. For women who can't afford panties, they can insert ice cubes. Of course they'd have to have little drip pans for catching water. Which can be used of course for making tea.
Or we could harness this vaginal heat. We could heat brothels with it. Get enough of these women together, you could probably heat hot water. This could, of course, always contribute to heated discussions. Just trying to cover all the angles, or in this case, curves.
We could also try spraying vaginas with liquid insulation. Which could also be made self-absorbing, so it could serve as a monthly menstrual pad as well. Once a month, the insulation would be cracked off, a new application applied, and the broken red pieces assembled into modern art paintings for the museums. Or bagged, and sold as candy. Artistically, this would be known as the "red" period.
How did the Universe get here? That's a good question. Actually, the Universe was a lost possibility. A potentiality that was wandering between what mighta been and mightnotta been. It just sort of simmered, that way, in nothingness before it became somethingness. Now where this potentiality of possibility was or came from before it got lost is something I'm still working on. I think it's the same place that quarks go when they aren't here anymore. But while lost, and simmering in this endless nonmeasure of notime, the tension between what might be and what almost was increased, exponentially. And at some point in its nonpoint linearity, it exploded. And nothingness became somethingness. And this somethingness was incoherent, confused.
Different eddies moving different speeds and directions and vectors developed tendencies towards personalities. Some might call them gods. But they're just aspects of confused randomness. And after a while tensions and stresses and frictions developed between these tendency currents. And a war broke out in Heaven. The Lucifer tendency got pissed because the God tendency had trendier tenets, which ticked off the God tendency and the resulting explosion when Lucifer was hurled from the heavens resulted in what we know, what we call the Big Bang.
It's not that the God tendency was right. It's just that it had more flow. And you can't buck flow. It's been downhill ever since.
I do have an idea of where these tendencies come from in the first place, this lost possibility. It actually comes through leaky vents from alternative universes. The trouble with this is of course that alternative universes also have to have their origins. What I suspect is just a round robin. They all feed on and off of each other. They get out of order and leak bits over here, create us. We leak stuff and create others. Ad infinitum. Like an endless game of cosmic musical chairs, only with no empty chairs. And even if we could go back and explain how the very first one started, that would still leave the music unexplained, which drives the whole thing.
There is no best or worse of worlds, or universes. There's only logic and flow, and chance. You should go with the flow. Things go better than if you go against the flow. Unfortunately, 99.999% of humanity doesn't even know flow exists. They try to impose their will on flow, rather than go with flow or collaborate with flow or play with flow. So the world we've created is truly fucked up. It's anti-logic. It's anti-flow.
But there is no best or worst of worlds. There are just best or worst of ways to handle what is. And again, what is has tendencies. And is is all things at once. It's what you expect to see or ask to see that collapses all is into specific is. And if you keep collapsing is into negative shit, which most people do, you're going to end up with this humungous pissed-off negative universe which gets off by stomping you. But if you expect a playful universe that has a wry sense of humor, that's what you experience.
So once again it's the quest of good against evil. If we can get enough good folk playing with a happy playful flow, we'll have a happy universe. But right now, it's like the bad guys are winning. Too much Barry Manilow. Not enough Meat Beat Manifesto.
The way the scientists figure it, the universe is composed of 5% normal matter. This 5% is everything we can see and measure. That means 95% of the universe we have no idea what's going on. They break that 95% down into 25% dark matter and 70% dark energy. I'd say that's pretty accurate. We seem to have about 5% good folk and 95% weak, bad folk on this earth. But the good news is 5% of focused light can vanquish 95% of confused darkness. So it's up to us 5% to save the universe from darkness.
Plus this makes a difference, because we're leaking out our edges and creating other universes. And if we leak light, we'll give the other universe a whole better chance of survival. And if we keep leaking dark, there's just going to be more of the same old going on.
Shmo or Joe, I don't know, liked to torment his mother. So every day he'd ask her, "What's for dinner, Ma?"
"You know darn well what we're having. It!"
"Not 'it' again!"
It was it. All that was left. In the old days, there were plants and animals of various persuasions. Before the U.S. of Assholes' Frankengenes escaped. Slowly one plant gene took over the whole green kingdom. Happened so long ago, we don't even know what It was. It's just called 'it.'
After a while, all the things that ate other things died off. And the things that ate them died off. So now it was down to People, and It. Sometimes it was hard to tell the difference.
Can't say what It tasted like, because it’s been just It for so long, there's nothing to compare It to. The two jokes left from the old days are It tastes just like chicken and It tastes like republicans.
People wove clothes out of It. Processed It in various ways to make bowls, spoons, condoms. Life was bleak.
But there was hope. There were rumors of a new book, 1000 Ways to Prepare It.
Mutant gypsies from the east had it, the book. Trouble is, there was no way to buy it because there was nothing but It to trade for it. It was written in ink made from It, on paper made from It, bound in cardboard made from It. But it did exist. It was true.
Some of the book’s secrets were the use of special spices. If you took human shit and dried it for one year in the sun and mixed it with water, and then evaporated that water, you had a Spice, a flavoring spice. A second spice involved a lengthy process with human urine. Another condiment was a tubercle thick phlegm from dying babies, harvested and dried at just the right time. Menses blood could also be used.
The trick of all this was It tasted so bad, even though nobody had anything to compare It with, that piss and shit and phlegm and menstrual blood were actually steps UP the taste chain. A few folks had tried cannibalism to get away from It. Unfortunately, humans have been eating It so long, they tasted like It. So that practice died out. Besides, the meat would rot and smell and decay, and then you'd have bad smelling It.
For a while there, before cars disappeared, there was a bumper sticker that said, It happened.
But if you had the book, and you bought the spices, and you didn't know where the spices came from, there was hope because the book showed you different ways to grind, process, coagulate, curdle, blend and whip It. That, added with the various shit piss phlegm menstruum spices gave you quite a range of tastes and textures. Mucous snot was also highly sought after for a custard-like It pudding, for dessert.
There were also various minerals used for flavoring, like sea salt. And ground calcium from the bone yards. And dandruff flakes. All mentioned in the book.
These traveling mutant gypsies would crawl from town to town, set up big It fairs. Fix ten, fifteen kinds of It. Give It to the crowd in sample packets. Then sell the book.
Unfortunately, the only compensation they would take were babies less than a year old, used foreskins, internal organs and left testicles. These were all ground up for various spices. And of course the baby skins were also used for deluxe editions of the book.
A great but rare delicacy was frozen It. But because of the weird world weather resulting from global swarming, you never knew when this product was available. And for the less adventurous, there was pre-chewed It.
If It were grown in excessively hot, humid climates, It could be dried and smoked as a psychotropic. People would sit around and take a toke and say, "Wow. Good It."
There were prophets and foreseers and current way naysayers all saying It wasn't always this way. It didn't have to be this way. It won't always be this way. But this It was the It it is. Although, there was a seed of truth in their prophesies. For It was dying.
Frankengenes have no lateral movement ability. They're cut and dried. By taking over the Earth, they had changed the balance just enough that the Earth was moving outside their parameters. So It was slowly dying. Soon there'd be just humans. No animals, no birds, no fish, no plants. No movement in the sea. Just people. Which brings to mind that old Twilight Zone story, To Serve Man.
But until then, you could get a slight variety of taste by harvesting It at different times. Early It looked like a bad cross between a sick fungus and dog poo. Intermediate It resembled giant rose thorns. Mature It looked like sunshine reflecting on flowing water. Gorgeous. Old It looked like bad wrinkles on an off day.
It wasn't always this way. Originally, It was the best of wheat, rice, oak and barley. It was a gorgeous plant. Danced in the sun. Played in the rain. Every part was edible: seeds, sap, leaves, stems, flowers, pollen, stalks, roots. All could be cooked or eaten raw, woven into clothes, processed into ecologically-friendly pseudo plastic that degraded within weeks. But everything changes. That's the law of Darwin.
Plus, It was created by greedy, impatient Republican scientists who didn't properly tie all their gene nodes down. There's always the inevitable going awry-ness associated with any new technology. Man first makes, then tests. Then corrects. Well, It didn't wait for correction. It just took over. Left no room for biodiversity. Mutated into its own madness. Castrated the food chain.
The first to go were butterflies. Fish soon followed. The flesh of mammals shrank, and what little was left tasted sour. Dust mites died. The resulting buildup of dust killed off the plankton. Once the plankton went, it was over.
Initially, It met all the nutritional requirements for humans. But as It mutated, people began changing as well. Eyebrows and ear hair grew excessively. Flesh withered. Skin turned sallow and hung. Wrinkles everywhere. Which caused sexual problems because folks became too ugly to have sex in light, so resorted to darkness, which resulted in frequent wrinkle intercourse rather than procreation. Sweat pooled beneath the wrinkles, so it was hard to be sure which wet place you were in.
Some folks blamed all this on Clara Bow, the old time movie star, because she was known as the It Girl. But it really started with a prophetic movie from the fifties, titled, It Conquered the World.
The fact that It was dying out, leaving only humans, isn't totally true. Because it was hard to tell the difference between old It and wrinkled human. In fact, sometimes if you had too much fermented It in a bar, you couldn't be sure if you'd wake up with a human or an old It. There was so much Human-It sex going on, that you would never know what was going to be born. Folks frequently ate their offspring and married off their produce.
So it was a strange blending of It-Human Human-It slowly eating each other, fertilizing each other, loving each other. And the Earth became wrinkled.
There's been a lot of confusion about the brain camps. A lot of people seem to confuse brain camps with the brain cramps and the brain farms - not to mention the mythical brain camps of lore with the mind camps of today.
Before government, back when Republicans were still slithering through swamps, the earth was void of mind. Brains give off emanations. Sort of like plasmid X-rays. These emanations disturb the air wherever brain-forms exist, rather like the light bulb appearing over peoples' heads in cartoons.
So in prehistoric times, Earth's mindlessness was a vacation site for aliens. Being brainless, Earth air was unroiled. After a while, of course, fish and dinosaurs came along, but their brains were so small, their thoughts so minute, the air was still pretty smooth. One alien at a time would pay huge sums of exotic substances to come to Earth to rest its brain in our brainless air. Sort of like pre-zen Zen.
Some scholars believe this is how consciousness arose, because residual brain/air roiling lingered after each alien left. Like all races, regardless of planet of origin, the travel vacation agencies got greedy and sold an Earth/Brain Camp vacation to the next Brain before the last Brain's waves had time to dissipate. Bit by bit, wave after wave of residual alien brain wave garbage built up, and settled in the fish. This caused the fish to become restless. They walked on the land. And the land became nervous.
But all that's supposition. Many think the current brain camps are government concentration camps for thought criminals, put there by the Thought Police. And there is truth in this. But most of the brain camps are Corporate.
Brain camps are a way for the Corporations to mold minds, weaken will, and stifle independent thought. These camps have multiple arms - such as advertising agencies, TV programs, colleges and universities. But their single largest segment is the brain-dead religious wrong, known as the Flat Earthers – a group spread pretty evenly among the world’s 5 largest religions: Christians, Jews, Muslims, New Agers, and Capitalists. Corporations are the ones who had the education laws passed requiring thirteen years of schooling, from kindergarten through twelfth grade, in order to control the minds of the young. Although those were the old days, because now with pre-school schools and children TV shows and brain dead parents, there are actually eighteen years of brain camp in the first eighteen years of life. In fact, the basic brain camp term of service formula as explained by Albert Einstein is bt = aod / 1. Which in layman's terms, is “Brain Camp equals Age of Death divided by 1” for each individual.
The Japanese are the most highly sophisticated with their Corporate in-house brain camps, getting their workers to worship the Corporate Ladder and actually shed their blood and families for their Jobs.
For a while, the Corporations and the Government (essentially the same thing, known in legal terms as 'The Great Pirates') experimented with sending their best brains to mandatory higher education. Unfortunately, this resulted in independent thought, free love, and questioning of authority, a disease that became known as the Hippies.
So they created actual concentration brain camps. They’re called concentration camps because they concretize and deepen the subject’s concentration on serving their Corporate Masters while at the same time de-concentrating the subject’s capacity to concentrate on either their own needs or the truth. At night, while the youngsters slept, Corporate Agents would sneak into their rooms, whisk them off to the concentration cramp, wash their minds, then return them in the morning. They suppressed our knowledge of these actions with thought-naught drugs. Some seepage of remembrance remained, but this leakage was explained away by the Government controlled tabloid trash newspapers by the 'Alien Abduction Conspiracy.' By nightly wiping the youngsters' minds in outside camps, they defeated the Hippie disease, and again could afford to send their brightest semi-minds on to college.
For a while there, they experimented with actually transplanting brains, but chimp brains in human subjects proved too facile for easy control, so they turned to inserting synthetic brains created from organic grown giant green pickled tomatoes instead. This was a great success, and resulted in the neo-conservative branch of the Republican Party.
Some of the brains weren't as easily directed, even though they were still essentially controlled. But in comparison to the brain camp honor students, these semi-controlled brains appeared independent and became known as Democrats. But as Einstein pointed out, it's all relative. Control is still control. The degree of variation is statistically and morally insignificant.
These synthetic green tomato pickle brains are grown on vast suburban brain farms. They're kept in the dark, covered with shit. Most of these brains become politicians, police chiefs and a few priests. Unfortunately there're no ethical pathways in these synthetic brains, which is fine for police chiefs and politicians, but the priests end up molesting young boys.
Every now and then there's a brain they just don't get to. Or if they do, their programming doesn't work. The brain camps call these brains Brain Cramps because they cramp the camp’s style, and are frequently cramped out by the authorities. JFK, Robert F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King were three of these - plus a lot of people in the insane asylums. When you actually think for yourself about what goes on in this world of the pre-programmed, it's insane. And of course if you keep pointing out that everybody's insane, they're going to lock you up, because the immoral majority rules.
The trouble with the Brain Camp programming is the brain keeps growing new cells, new pathways. They can't afford to nightly readjust everybody. They don't have the facilities. This is where their most important tool comes in: TV. TV kills independent thought. TV kills new brain cells. TV stunts healthy pathways. TV makes you want what everybody else wants.
Plus, these brain camps are also extremely expensive. In order to pay for all this, they make shiny, useless trinkets in sweatshops all over the world. Then with their deadly, insidious TV commercials, they make you want these trinkets. So every day you have to get up and go out to work, serve the Master in the big White House while you slave in his fields so he will give you a few baubles which you can then trade for his trinkets.
For a while there, the brain camp / brain cramp / brain farm terminology started appearing in the offshore Independent Press. But the Brain Nazis knew that weak brains could not handle more than three terms at any one time - so on television, they created Quiz Shows featuring Brain Champs. And the Brain Champ / Brain Camp / Brain Cramp / Brain Farm trick worked like a charm. Verily, the Earth was confused.
For the few Brains who could not be programmed, there was an underground escape program known as the Brain Lamp. Seemingly programmed people banded together and smuggled unprogrammed minds out to the mythical Land of the Independent Press. They also developed a breeding program where they would take the minds most difficult to program, mate them, and then smuggle their babies out through the Brain Ramp program. They’d replace these babies with large rutabagas in stylish underwear. This is where the Land of the Independent Press got its name, because by mating semi-dependents, they pressed for independence.
This brings us to the Number of the Least. The Government Corporative Enterprise must be able to identify and quantify its brain campers. So everyone was provided with an Identification Number - known as the Brain Stamp - through a Social Security Credit Card. This Brain Stamp stamps brain camps, brain cramps, brain lamps, brain ramps, identifies brain champs, and even amps lame game chance chants – all in the name of ants.